The most formidable

Again, fear is of the potestas which Spinoza spoke of, being dominated – or – alienation the inescapable experience attested to by psychoanalyses, like Lacanian.  Lacan coined “extimacy,” whereby the other inhabits the innermost part of who we are; would it be that my experience from the inside/out would be inculcated by some other than what I would ideally signify?    Would it blow-me-up from the inside out, into fragments?  Anxiety rules the day with its tendency to cause the heart to stutter and sweat on the brow, clammy hands and a shifting world.  How could something from without cause so much internal turmoil?  It demonstrates somatic properties for a phenomenon which cannot touch the body?  Or, can it? And that is the very fear of it; that it can!  Yes, it can be a monstrous exigency; an external need for angst, pushing to the edge of horizons never noted in oneself, ever, before its grip.  To strangle from the outside; to choke from within.  The desire to go beyond such bondage, to escape that limitation and freedom found in which is the alterity and the exterior.   Prior to such trauma is readiness or fear, the waiting on something awe-inspiring, yet at the time fragmentary, and even after its arrival. Does it rail into me or do I run flush on into it.  Neither representation nor even inkling that such an event will take place, there is complete and utter inevitability, a complete joy and exactitude of experience on the earth, which by the way is acceptable and pronounced in the face of shame or remorse.  Fear annihilates shame and remorse for the standard bearer is fear or even angst.  Reducing myself to a constellation of acts or a jeweled necklace of connectivity of conscious moments is more startling than any attempt to face the outer or inner world.  As before, the experience of fear has outward (and inward) orientations.  Hope in the face of any of these experiences seems only a representation or a signification.  The grammar of the event is sloppy and at times incoherent.