Weariness from the Event

Weary of the onslaught of a thought, I looked around to try to recognize where the thought had come from, but it became apparent that thought was only happening within me.  Nonetheless, that flash behind me frightened me to the degree that it felt as though a thought had entered me.  Perhaps it was in my imagination that the flash and thought occurred, but it seemed real enough to make me shiver after a jolt. It occurred to me that thoughts are bodily experiences, which generate a particular energy within, which lingers only fleetingly, briefly enough in this case to overcome me.

  

Apparently this is an experience others have had, the feeling that something behind has sparked fear in the body.  It is quite a thing to remember, like electricity coursing through one’s veins.  The memory of it will never go away, but never will the experience come again.  It is a once in a lifetime event on a horizon that can never be reached no matter how far one travels back in thought.  Etiology, derivation, whence it originates from is unknown to those who would try to reproduce it.  A light, a flash of lightening, more than fear or angst, more than trembling, that coursing feeling which leaves one numb and tingling.

The most adept expert in the mind/body experience could not separate the two in order to find a singularity of thought alone.  The need to know might as well be forfeited, because the deeper one goes, the further back, the further the experience dwindles away, like a real horizon, one never really reaches it, though it is indeed out there.  Frustration sets –in as this paleo-experience harbors beyond reach. Pain, excitement, a pulse once felt, now gone.